My wife had long held a dream of visiting Bali, Indonesia, and finally, the opportunity presented itself. A holiday organizer from Kathmandu had planned a week-long trip for us, set from Monday, October 14, to Monday, October 21, 2024. The moment the organizer mentioned that another couple would accompany us throughout the trip, my wife’s excitement soared. She began imagining what they might be like, eagerly anticipating the possibility of new friendships. Even as we queued for check-in at Tribhuvan International Airport in Kathmandu, she scanned the crowd, trying to spot the other couple. But they were nowhere to be found.
We flew with Malaysian Airlines, and our journey included a transfer at Kuala Lumpur International Airport. During our six-hour transit, my wife turned the situation into a guessing game, roping me in to try to identify the couple who would be our travel companions. Despite all our efforts, we couldn’t pick them out, not even when we waited to board our connecting flight to Denpasar at Bali Ngurah Rai Airport.
Upon landing in Bali, the first order of business was to purchase a local SIM card, as suggested by the trip organizer. Afterward, I contacted the local guide. Within a short time, we spotted him—Imade Suarto—waiting for us with a Suzuki seven-seater car. He greeted us with flower garlands and a smile, though his English vocabulary was limited. To our surprise, the other couple was already there, receiving their welcome from the guide. Eager to make a good impression, my wife and I approached them with warm greetings. However, we were met with a tepid reception. The young man offered a half-hearted "Namaste," while the woman remained silent. It was not the friendly exchange my wife had hoped for.
As the guide invited us into the car, he folded down the middle row seat to make way for the back. I overheard the young woman instructing her companion not to sit in the back seat, a small but telling moment. Understanding their intention, I took the back seat with my wife. It wasn’t ideal for either of us. I’m in my late fifties and have been driving for decades, so sitting in the back felt awkward. My wife, who suffers from sciatica pain, found the situation uncomfortable as well. The weak air conditioning in the car during the 45-minute drive only added to our discomfort.
As we made our way to the hotel, both of us couldn’t help but notice how Nepali youth often emphasize respect for seniors. However, this couple, who seemed to be in their late twenties, did not extend the courtesy we had expected. The etiquette they exhibited at the movement left us disappointed. Even at the hotel, when we hoped to chat briefly about the itinerary, they rushed ahead without a word, leaving us to handle our check-in on our own.
A brief moment of panic arose when the hotel staff informed us that there was no booking under our name. After some frantic back-and-forth calls with the organizer in Kathmandu, we discovered that our room had booked under their name. Despite this, they hadn’t bothered to inform us. After nearly an hour of confusion, we finally secured a room. My wife’s disappointment was palpable. I found myself surprised at how someone could feel so let down despite the many incredible things waiting for us to enjoy in Bali. Perhaps she had hoped for a more amicable connection with our fellow travelers, and their lack of engagement felt disheartening.
For the rest of the trip, the guide made sure we had the middle-row seats, which provided more comfort during our travels. Yet, even though we spent a full week together, touring Bali’s temples, exploring its beaches, and enjoying different recreational activities including boat rides, the other couple remained silent. Throughout the week, we travelled together in a car, but we never shared a table for meal, discussed the local culture, geography, climate, or even exchanged names and home locations. The silence between us was, at times, bewildering. The only thing I truly learned about them was their remarkable ability to bargain. They frequently asked the guide for the best "cheaper" shopping spots. I found it ironic since I only appreciate the word "cheaper" from afar.
As a professor of organizational behavior, I frequently considered stepping in, attempting to spark some dialogue, perhaps even fostering a sense of camaraderie. My wife, after all, enjoys being surrounded by lively conversation, and I imagined it would make her happy. But each time, I hesitated. I didn’t want to force interaction if the couple preferred to keep to themselves. So, despite our shared experiences—the breathtaking sights, the cultural explorations—the silence between us remained unbroken. Traveling together, even flying back to Kathmandu spending same transit time, yet feeling like strangers. It was a strange, almost surreal experience.
Concluding Thoughts
This trip to Bali, while filled with stunning sights and unforgettable experiences, left us with much to reflect upon regarding travel etiquette and human interaction. Traveling is not just about the destinations you visit but also about the people you encounter along the way. The lack of engagement from our fellow travelers was a reminder of the importance of simple gestures—kindness, respect, and openness—in shared journeys. These gestures can turn ordinary trips into extraordinary memories.
In the end, we realized that while everyone has their unique approach to travel, a little friendliness can go a long way in creating meaningful connections. Bali, with all its natural beauty, was spectacular. But the journey also reminded us that the people you meet can make a place even more remarkable—or, in this case, leave an unspoken silence hanging in the air.